Sally Goes to the Jungle, by Fred
(aged five and not quite three quarters but more than a half)
Once upon a time Sally was taking her dog for a walk (Picture of Sally, with ruby red lips and her orange dog)
when she saw a man. He said. "How do you do?" "Very well, thank you," she said. (picture of Sally, man, both with red smiles, and her PINK dog. Possible inconsistency, possible unremarked upon capacity of dog to change colour at will. Frederique, please see me re foreshadowing/internal logic/consistency issues.)
Suddenly she stepped into a rock and when she stepped out of the rock she was in a jungle. When she touched the leaves they fell down and made a river. (I just touch typed all that - woohoo. Go me. Picture of Sally, a bit smooshed to the edge of the page, pink dog and green leaves and green river. Where does she come up with this stuff? The leaves becoming a river. I'm a bit jealous. Damn her and her unsullied access to raw Freudian imagery.)
Then she saw a friendly alligator. (You know it's friendly because it's red and it hasn't got any teeth. I must admit I thought Sally's dog had undergone another colour change until I realised it had seven legs. Dogs don't have seven legs of course, but possibly alligators do.) "How are you?" she asked. (Sally is a very thoughtful girl.) "Achoo!" he said. "I have a bit of a cold." (picture of a red alligator. There is a big scribble where his head should be, no doubt because the sneeze is of a particularly severe magnitude.)
"Crocodile, do you know the way back to my village?" "Yes, I do. Go back into the rock and come out in 15 minutes." (picture of a house, with a window and a disembodied head but no door. Despite the floating, featureless head, it is really quite sweet. Hmm, looking again it strikes me that perhaps it is a door, albeit rather high off the ground and with no steps, and the head is a door handle. Must check with Fred tomorrow.)
"Daddy, Mummy, I'm home!" (I like the way she used dialogue to imply action, also this is a good example of clever use of narrative time, where not everything needs to be told. Well done, Fred. Picture of Mum, Dad and Sally. Mum is very prominent, Dad has a jaunty smile. Sally's eye is outside her hair, which indicates a possible breach of containment, but does not concern me. After all, her smile is bigger than her body.)
And she went to bed after a nice dinner. The End. (A very tiny Sally in bed, her smile almost covered up by the blanket but you can tell she is still smiling. Unfortunately, there is no mention of the dog. I'm rather worried that it might be still in the jungle. And I have my concerns just how friendly the alligator will be without Sally around politely inquiring after its health. After all, just like Sally, it has Appetites, it might want a Nice Dinner too.)
I'm intrigued by the dog that changes color. I hope this power keeps him safe in the jungle.
ReplyDeleteIt looks like your child has inherited your talents.
Fred should hang out with the cute French kid I posted on my blog, between them they've got some beauties.
ReplyDeleteThere's the minor detail of different languages, but I think they'd somehow overcome that.
Yes, well this isn't getting any work done is it?
F*ckin' hilarious.
ReplyDeleteLove it.