Dear Amanda and Debbie

 from Anonymous:

I found your recipe online

and I’ve run into some problems

I’m wondering if you can help me

well first of all, it’s raining

and my husband and I

aren’t speaking

the cat hasn’t come home

for three days

we’ve run out of wine

my teenage son won’t look me in the eye

I think he’s done something terrible

my daughter has this high nervous laugh

and a heart murmur

she can't get a boyfriend or make good grades

her greatest wish in life is that she doesn’t turn out like me

the cake tin I’m using is square

and it’s supposed to be round

I think I married the wrong man

I am trying to trace it back to

the first wrong decision I made

and what sort of cake will it make

will it be moist and dense or dry

will it crumble

could I adapt this cake

to suit all purposes

weddings anniversaries funerals divorce

just how much can this cake take

I was also wondering

how do you turn this cake into something else

how do you change the substance of it

what happens if instead of cooking it

you take it outside and bury it

somewhere dark

somewhere deep

I wanted to make this cake

but I wasn’t sure how it would turn out

have you ever had that problem

amanda and debbie

have you ever woken in the night

in somebody’s arms

and felt afraid

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inspired by this recipe and the comments afterwards