Friday, January 17, 2014

bug that flies into the light and stays there

Today I spent seven hours in a suburban shopping mall
with three children, forty four degrees outside
the last day of a week long heatwave we had lunch in the foodcourt
and I settled my three kids at a table with chicken and chips
and walked to another shop to buy coffee and a salad
well the three year old walked around the tables saying
‘have you seen my mother she went shopping and she disappeared’
and the ten year old followed behind and explained
that I was just over there, and grandmothers frowned and smiled
and it’s a wonder no one called the police even though really
the kids were quite safe it was just a bit crowded and I didn’t
notice the three year old slide down from his seat
because I was watching my coffee being made 
then we were sitting and eating and the three year old  ran off to 
play at the jungle gym and one girl ran off to see what movies were on 
and the other went to spend her pocket money at Smiggle
I was alone but pulled apart in three directions
then a lady asked for my table and I felt like I was giving up something important, 
but I couldn’t say no, so I bussed my own crockery,
tipping the last of my wilting salad into the bin and stood in the middle
of nowhere, checking weather apps on my phone, looking at the fires
near home and waiting for them all to come back to me
there was a bird trapped in the food court, fluttering into the walls,
also seeking shelter from the heat, the cleaner rang some kind of central office
and asked if there was a protocol for birds and I was concerned to overhear
there’s not and I thought here I am in a place between living and death,
a holding pattern, a neutral existence, and I will transcend or descend
outside the city holds the heat, distant, white, shimmering

No comments:

Post a Comment